Running Away

A secondary 4 essay with the topic from TYS:
Write a story on running away.

A light breeze rustled the leaves of the tree gently. The shops had been closed three hours ago. As I walked along the path, the silence of the night overwhelmed me. Suddenly my imagination perked up and visions of the various horror novels and movies I indulged myself in surfaced in my mind. I hesitated, afraid to walk round the corner in case something appeared to pounce on me. My legs led me on ahead.

As my mind calmed down from the anxiety of possibly encountering a ghost or a horribly mutilated monster, I began to ponder about the reason why a young girl like me should be wandering around in the dead of night. I realized that it was a very trivial matter that started the whole problem. I had reached home late from school and my parents were not too happy about it.

"You might as well not come back at all!" My mother had shouted in her fit of anger. I had taken it as a challenge, a way to show them who was boss, and that I really would take their snide remarks seriously. So after they had turned in, I filled my bag with some of my essentials - handphone, chocolate bars, my discman, some money and my keys - and sneaked out.

Now as I thought about it, it seemed like a really typical, "problem-teenager" kind of situation - child and parents have a big fight, child runs away from home. But I was not planning to forever stay away from my home; alas, I was not your average, messed-up kid who was so rebellious and really bent on breaking rules. The fact was that my anger had simmered already, and I was just trying to scare my parents a bit, to let them know that I was capable enough not to heed their dumb advice.

A set of footsteps snapped me out of my subconscious state. I was suddenly aware of the dark, deserted alley way that I had absent-mindedly strolled into. In front of me was a dead end. The footsteps, I thought, and a chill went down my spine as I froze, not daring to turn around. I heard a werid, soft snicker from behind and forced my head to turn.

The stranger looked at me in a perversed sort of way with a maniacal grin showing off his dirty, yellow teeth. I paused for a split second before screaming, and somehow managed to get past his barricade amidst my panic-stricken state of mind. I ran away.

My feet pounded heavily on the pavement; my hands were flailing around wildly; my heart was beating madly and I had no idea where I was heading. I just wanted to escape from the clutches of that guy, whoever he was, but I was sure he was far from my guardian angel guiding me home. After a while I realized the only sounds were coming from my panting and my already exhausted legs. I stopped, and turning around frantically confirmed that I was safe. For now.

"Whew!" I thought. So much for running away from home. Well, I decided I had had enough, and, searching for that familiar street name, I began to make my way back.

Teacher's comments: "Gd try! Too brief though! Does not give you scope to display plot skill!"
Contrast this with the more recent one i wrote on Panic. It was inspired by this essay of mine, which had "plot skill". That was why I wrote the whole initial paragraph on my language deteriorating and blablabla, because I didn't think I could come up with such 'running away when i was running away from home' kind of plots anymore. This wasn't the only essay that I had plot skill apparently. And this is what is missing in all my recent narratives. There's hardly any plot at all anymore.
Where have my plots gone?!